So, this is my blog…

ok, so I think I officially have insomnia. I get sleepy at night but by the time I wash my face and brush my teeth I am wide awake. My mind races for at least an hour. It is awful. Waking up to feed my baby at 5 am might not be so bad if I wasn’t going to bed at 12:30am. I tried going to bed earlier to see if it was just that my body needed an hour or so to wind down, but no I ended up lying in bed for 2 hours instead of 1.
The worst part is that my husband and baby are both in deep sleep and I can hear their deep sleep breathing and it makes me so jealous. I envy there ability to get in bed and fall asleep within literally one minute. Seriously, I have timed it before. My mind is just racing with thoughts and then I get adrenaline thinking about all the things I could be doing instead of sleeping.
Some of the things that run through my mind are:

Swim lessons

Target trips

Grocery lists

Vacations

scrapbooking

buying a fire ladder ( i have this horrible fear that my house is going to burn down and I wont be able to get my baby… its horrible.)

Thoughts of exercising

Self criticism (I think about all the dramatic things I say to people during the day that may be misinterpreted)

Decorating/ Organizing my house
And much more…
No joke, I have thought about all these things in just one sleepless night.

Do any of you out there have any advice for how to get better sleep? Your advice is welcome unless you are going to tell me to avoid the 200mg of caffeine that I have throughout the day, but that has nothing to do with loss of sleep, right?

Ok, so my sister in law recently posted on her blog a list of 25 things about her and well she basically tagged anyone who read it so I thought why not. It could be fun to sit and think about 25 things you may be interested in knowing about me.

These are in no particular order:

1. I am a very habitual person. It is almost concerning. What I ate today, I will probably eat tomorrow and the next day and so on. It is very hard to break the habit but once it has been broken it is quickly replaced by a new one.

2. I fear commitment. I am a very loyal wife, mother, and friend, but if you ask me to commit to show up weekly to home group, bunco, Tupperware parties, or anything that involves small talk with tons of people I will run for the hills.

3. I am impulsive. I hate waiting for things. My unofficial new years resolution was to practice patience and it has been extremely challenging.

4. I would love to be a part of an ensemble like on Saturday Night Live.

5. I say “sorry” for everything. Even when I do not need to say sorry… it’s a habit. (see #1)

6. Although I was like 10 in the 80’s, I live for 80’s music. There is just something about it that touches my soul in a deep way. My heart is happy when 80’s music plays.

7. I hate small talk. It is so bad that I often times intentionally “forget” to take my sunglasses off in the grocery store to avoid awkward encounters with strangers. Having a baby makes this extremely hard.

8. I love good conversations. When one begins I never want it to end.

9. My husband is my best friend. We have known each other a long time and I love spending time with him. A good conversation with him is priceless to me.

10. I used to be a raging extrovert but now I have taken a turn towards a more introverted lifestyle.

11. Favorite Activities: playing tennis, poker, exercising to good music, dancing, laying out in the sun, and good conversations. Although I rarely do most of these things.

12. I ” Should” on myself a lot. I am constantly telling myself all the things that I should be doing and I end up to tired to do them because I am overwhelmed with all the should’s.

13. I love chocolate chip cookies. I could eat them everyday, and I pretty much do.

14. I actually hate shopping, but I love buying.

15. My favorite thing to do when I am sick is have homemade chicken noodle soup and watch “friends” until I fall asleep.

16. I think my husband is a better cook than me even though I cook most of the time. My favorite meal he makes is spaghetti and meat balls.

17. I can’t start a project until my house is clean and my bed is made, but this may change now that I have a baby.

18. I wish I was good at scrapbooking, or at least keeping a good record of special moments in my families life.

19. My favorite spring time vacation is Palm Desert. I have been going there since I was a baby and it is a very special place to me.

20. I love entertaining at my home. Despite being more introverted than I used to be I love having close friends and family over.

21. As challenging as it is, I love being a mom.

22. I generally try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Because I am a people pleaser to the core I will take blame before accusing anyone else.

23. I love the communication process. I love analyzing the way people interact with each other nonverbally and verbally. (knowing that I hate small talk, observing me at the grocery store might be entertaining. see # 7)

24. I am excited about the thought of creating something that others could enjoy. I have no idea what that is but the thought of it is invigorating.

25. I will only eat vanilla ice cream or frozen yogurt. Of course I have tried many other flavors but none of them comfort me as much as plain vanilla and ice cream is pure comfort food.

Well, there you have it. It is not me in a nutshell by any means but it was definitely fun to expose this side of me.

Now you tell me some things about you.

My apologies to my loyal readers. There is no excuse for my lack of commitment to this blog except for my complete bondage to habit and routine. If I do not make a habit or a routine out of something it will just not get done. For instance this blog. I began this blog when my precious baby girl was still waking up at 11pm to eat so between 10 and 11 I would sit and listen to my husband snore and write about what was going on in my head. Now that things have changed my blogging has come to a complete stop, until now of course.

Thank you to all of you who checked daily for something new on my blog. It means more to me than you know and I will try to give you more attention going forward.

Just as an update here is the cute little nugget occupying most of my time